1:30pm...
Thank you for your patience. Please continue to hold.

1:40pm...
Thank you for your patience. Your wait-time is approximately 10 minutes.

2:00pm...
Thank you for your patience. Obviously, we have no fucking clue how to count!

2:10pm...
Thank you for your patience. Please hold as we continue to play the most horrible music.

2:20pm...
Thank you for your patience. Go fuck yourself. We're not picking up the phone.