Some [Iranian] women have this weird strategy to keep abstinence as a bargaining chip. What they don’t understand is, sex is quite the cheapest bargain…and I mean that literally.

I hereby would like to confess with all serenity and profound pride that in life, I have had no role model. This is all improvised.

- So, do we plan to fill all sluts for the client ? Do we even know how many sluts in inventory are ?
- Sure, we have about 5 slots empty.

Suit for a million, car for a load and the accent fucked it all up for you. Remember the joke ? True story.

Is it just me, or have you noticed how whenever a black male has the leading role in a movie all the previews predominantly show off other black movie stars and movies ? Is it not interesting that Carmen Electra plays in all of them too ?!

Honey, move on. We get your point.

Few nights ago at the work site, I got a call from her. Her niece had committed suicide. While at the funeral in church, two things rattled up my mind:

- Man, are these cookies awesome or what!
- Why did she think suicide will do her good ? Was it not a sin by her standards ? I mean, it's ironic really. You think you've escaped your ill-fated life but all you get on the other side is God, waiting to stick a fat hot rod up your ass!. Hey, some people like it up their butt!. Maybe that's all they needed in life anyways. Enough care or attention from a loved one with special anal interest!.

No wa 'm sayin ?!

Later at the bar, I told her about my thoughts. She laughed and thanked me for keeping company.
- You know, death sometimes ain't so bad when you consider the alternative.